::footprints of ie|en

To All The Worms I Killed, Here's An Open Apology. I'm Sorry!

I had a nightmare this morning, in which my husband was the perpetrator. First he held in his hand a big fat leech, knowing full well that I’m terrified of them. And he was grinning ear-to-ear. Then he held in his hand a really long earthworm. Man, horror of horrors! He did the unthinkable then. He threw the earthworm at me, which got stuck on my neck. And I was screaming and crying hysterically. All the dear man (not so dear at that time in my dreams) did was laughed and laughed. I woke up with cold sweat all over my forehead, and my eyes wet with tears. I wonder if I did scream out loud.

In real life, I am as afraid of earthworms and leeches as I was in my dream. Anything that looks even remotely like a worm scares me half to death. Put me in Fear Factor, and if there are worms, I’d be the first to hold up my hands and surrender. Other things I can deal with, but worms? Thank you very much. Gimme a million and I’ll pass.

I was at a leadership training program which required us to find our way in the jungle given a map, compass and locations. We went in groups of 10, each group accompanied by two naval commandos. Just before reaching a tarred road, I noticed blood on one of my fellow participants’ leg. I told him that he must have gotten bitten by leeches. Whilst the commandos check his leg, I decided to check mine, too. I unzipped the left side of my track bottom, at the ankle. Seeing that there were no leeches, I heaved a sigh of relief and very confidently unzip the other side. The very moment I saw the big and obviously well-fed leeches stuck on my ankle, I started screaming. Then I started hopping around. By the time the two commandos came to me, I was sobbing. Obviously, they laughed when they realized it was just two leeches. I later found out that I screamed so loud they thought I saw a snake. The talkative me continued the rest of the journey with my mouth zipped shut and my face pale as death itself. Every ounce of excitement I felt about the journey went off together with the two bloodsuckers. Needless to say, the entire camp found out about this incident in no time. And I had to bear with the others commandos coming to me with leeches in their palms and asking if I would like to have leech satay. Damn! Haven’t I suffered enough already?

A few years back, I happily walked into the washroom of my church. Just as I was about to wash my hands, I noticed a big, long earthworm on the sink. God knows how it got there. I ran out of the washroom like as if the roof was going to fall on me, whilst screaming loudly of course. The men in the church thought there was a man in the ladies and quickly went in to nab the man. Of course they went in and came out puzzled, wondering what I was so scared about. Oh, imagine how they roared with laughter when I told them sheepishly that it was just an earthworm.

When I was a kid, I never had this fear of worms, or anything that is in the worm family. My siblings and I, we will go dig for earthworms to go fishing (which our mom never allowed us to). Boy, did we have fun digging those earthworms out. We knew exactly where to find the biggest earthworm and will pull them out of their holes with relish. We will laugh gleefully every time we got a big, long one. And how we competed against each other to find the biggest earthworm.

How is it then that I ended up fearing these harmless creatures? My mom thinks it’s a punishment. I think so, too. How else do you explain my fear for these creatures then? For all those worms that I’d gleefully pulled out of their holes and sometimes chopped them with a knife, they are back to haunt me. Even in my dreams.

Here, is an open apology from me. I’m sorry for what I did. For ever pulling you guys out of your homes. And for chopping you to pieces. Please don’t haunt me anymore. I beg of you.

posted by ie|en @ 2:31 PM