::footprints of ie|en

Drivers I Love to Hate

I seldom swear. Except when I’m really pissed. But driving on roads in Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur specifically) is simply a stressful and harrowing experience. A lot of times I feel like swearing my heart out. But what’s the use?

The following are drivers I love to hate, in no particular order:

• Those who drive at 30km per hour on one lane roads. For goodness sake, the road does not belong to your ancestors so stop hogging the road. No one say you must speed but please, travel at a reasonable speed. Else buzz to the side and let people overtake.



• Those who potong queue. You’d be waiting in line like for ages at a toll both, for example and suddenly, this idiot zip out of nowhere and parked its butt in front of you. Didn’t your mama teach you manners?
  
  
• Those who turn on their indication light and swerve into another car’s path at the same time. Once my dad couldn’t stop in time when the car in front pulled this stunt. The driver came out and said: “Are you blind? I turned my indication light on.” But mister, you swerved into another person’s lane. Indication light or not, you are supposed to look at your side mirror to see if it’s safe to switch lane. Oh I forgot, side mirrors don’t work coz you are blind. And you paid to pass your Undang-Undang test right?
  
  
• Those who obviously broke the rule but yell and show their fists at other drivers. Last year, a van swerved from the right side (at a left turning) right into my path. FYI, that was a one lane road. I had to quickly brake to avoid a collision. The passenger showed his head through the window, pointed to his head and said: “Guna otaklah.” He obviously didn’t realize that they were the otak-less people.
  
  
• Those who swerve in and out of lanes like their mother’s life depended upon their ability to zoom in and out. You guys, you rushing to get entry forms to hell is it?
  
  
• Those who honk incessantly the moment the traffic light turn green. Does a second slower on the part of the car in front mean a year off your life?
  
  
• Those who flash their headlights from 5km away to tell you to get out of the way. Even more irritating are those who honk from the same distance. Sigh! What can I say?
  
  
• Those who tailgate you until you can see the bulu in their nose. Okay, I was exaggerating but you know what I mean. I wonder, does being a few cm more in front make a difference? Apparently to them, it does.
  
  
• Those who brake for no reasons, even when there were no cars, motorcycles or other vehicles in front of them. More often than not, you will also find them yakking on the phone. But for those who weren’t, did you see a mountain in front of that is somehow invisible to the rest of us?
  
  
• Those who take offence at everything, and are ready to start a fight any time. I accidentally press the honk on a bumpy road yesterday. The motorist in front of me slowed down and glared at me. If glares could kill, I’m dead already. He was too busy glaring he didn’t see me wave and mouth a “sorry”. To these people, get a life ok? Not everything is meant at you and is about you.

To all these drivers, I have got one thing to say to you: If you wanna commit suicide, if you feel that this life is meaningless, please go jump off a building or slit your wrist. We love our family, value our lives and do not wish for our loved ones to mourn over us. Please don’t get us involved if your sorry state.

To those who visit my blog, I’m sure there other groups of drivers that you have come across. Do share.

posted by ie|en @ 4:33 PM